Emotional Trauma

Emotional trauma is a heavy topic, but one I feel compelled to discuss from my perspective. Emotional trauma can be defined as a deeply distressing experience that significantly impacts a person's psychological well-being.

For me, the source of this trauma may come as a surprise: my own home. Specifically, it stems from my relationship with my father. Upon reflection, the patriarchal aspects of my culture play a role in shaping his behavior, as does the generational trauma he carries with him.

I grew up in a house that never truly felt like a home. I walked on eggshells around my father, who could explode at any moment. A father is supposed to offer unconditional love and support, but instead, my father consistently set conditions. His love and support were conditional. As long as we did what he wanted, the atmosphere remained peaceful. But the minute we expressed our true selves or tried to live life on our own terms, all hell broke loose.

As his daughter, I had hope—hope that one day my father would learn, grow, and become a better person. But with each passing day, my faith in him has wavered.

I am tired. Exhausted. I've been in survival mode for as long as I can remember, carrying the weight of protecting my siblings and my mother. I did whatever I could to shield them from the negative energy that seemed to consume our home. I worked tirelessly to wipe away my mother's tears and keep a smile on my siblings’ faces.

But now, my mind and body can't keep up with the weight I've been carrying. I’ve done my best, but it's time for me to heal.

I want to remind you: it is not a sign of weakness or laziness to want to rest and recover from whatever you're going through. It’s okay to put that shield down. You don’t have to keep proving yourself. Your healing is yours alone, and you deserve to take it at your own pace.